Well, Robin went with me to physical therapy yesterday, as we wanted to visit with a sick friend that's in the hospital just blocks from where I was being treated. We arrived about 4:10 for the 4:30 appointment and this place was much quieter than the one I went to the first time. I completed my obligatory four pages of paperwork for a first-time patient, sat back and watched a Laker's rerun on the waiting room TV while waiting for my name to be called. My name was called within 10 minutes, I was excited. I got to the door, and was told: "sorry, we don't have a room for you." I thought, here we go again. I retook my seat next to Robin and continued watching the Lakers rerun. Eventually, I was called, and into a room number one, I went.
An aide came in and asked all the necessary questions, she specifically kept asking if I was in any pain, and I kept telling her no, no pain, I'm here because I pee myself. She left when her laptop died, came back with a power cord, finished all her questions, then left again. Soon she was back with some stuff in a box and a backless gown. I was told to disrobe except for my underwear, sit on the bed, and wait for the doctor. Eventually, I started to nod off.
About twenty minutes later in came the doctor. She had a European accent and said she was going to attach electrodes to me to monitor my pelvic floor muscle contractions. I immediately wanted to know where this would be attached, as a number of unpleasant scenarios went through my head. She said they would be attached between my scrotum and anus, and these little lights on a small box at the end of the electrical cords would tell me my kegel strength. This is known as biofeedback. Since this was my first time having physical therapy for anything, I had never heard of it. The doctor gave me a quick synopsis of how it worked and then told me to take off my underwear so she could attach them. Apparently, I have gotten used to people playing with me, because this didn't bother me much, plus I got to hold the little gizmo with the lights. I was told green meant relaxed, red was the pelvic floor muscles tightened, and yellow somewhere in the middle. She asked me to do a kegel for her, then she yelled "harder", and "lift" over and over. I never got to yellow, and it was all I could do not to laugh and pee on everything. She had me relax, and I explained that I had already done my 30 kegels for the day, maybe I was tired. After a few minutes of explaining how to lift my pelvic floor muscles, and letting me relax, she had me try again. She commenced with her loud commands, and this time I saw red on the gizmo. She informed me that I must be doing my kegels correctly, maybe just not giving myself enough rest between sets. We went through this routine 3 or 4 more times, each time she gave me 3-5 minutes rest. I saw red some more, so I felt a little better about my rehab so far. She said we were done and removed the electrodes from me. I found out I have hair down there, as some came off with the electrodes, kind of like a band-aid when you yank it off. Now I could say I was feeling pain, if only for a moment. She wants me to come back to check on my progress, so I made an appointment for three weeks down the road, looking forward to seeing red again.
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